Learning From Pain

Tuesday, December 26, 2023

Learning From Pain

I am taking a course by Eric Edmeades, who is a business coach. The very first lesson in the course was to tell me that if you’re running your own business then you are also the "Chief “Emotional” Officer" of your company.

As the Chief Emotional Officer, the attitude, feelings, and emotions you show up with impact your entire company. But even if you aren’t running a business, this lesson can be applied to any area of your life. I can apply this lesson as a husband, as a real estate agent, and even just as an individual. My emotional reactions have a profound impact on myself and the people around me.

Eric says no matter what terrible thing has happened to you, if you give yourself enough time, you can learn to appreciate the lesson you learned by going through that “bad” experience.

Suffering comes when you don't want to learn the lesson.

With this new information, my mind immediately started racing, remembering all the difficult situations I have had in the past. From being in over $30,000 in debt, to then getting kicked out of my own real estate company, to having to drive an Uber because I was running out of money. These are just a few of the painful moments in my life.

Eric was right, I could look at every one of those bad moments and recall the lesson I learned from going through the pain. Those painful moments taught me a lot.

He gave a very simple plan.


1.  An event happens

2.  An emotion comes up

3.  Feel and process that emotion

4.  Ask yourself “Does my emotional response serve me well?”

5.  “What emotional response will serve me better?”

6.  "What would have to happen for me to feel grateful for this experience?"


It’s still very challenging to control my emotional response when something negative happens to me. But I can say I have made tremendous progress in this area of my life.

I have to remind myself, it's ok to be upset. But I cannot let my feelings control my behavior. I have to process the anger and then ask myself, "Does this emotional response help me or is it making things worse?" "What would a better response be?"

One of the main life lessons I have learned this year is that the better I do personally the better I do professionally. For me to grow and become a better real estate agent meant being a better person first. Work success comes as a result of personal success.

I hope that helps you.

So let me ask you, what “bad” situation have you learned from? Can you think of something “bad” that happened to you years ago, that looking back on it now, taught you a valuable lesson?

Write back I would love to hear from you.

P.S. In case you wanted to know what Eric Edmeades looks like I put a photo of him above. And if you are interested in the course, it can be found on the http://www.mindvalley.com platform. You can click on the link or photo to go to their website.

The Sarmiento Sales Team

Andy, Damaris & Walter Sarmiento

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